Tink, Do You Have A Job?

The Hubs wants a rec card.  A rec card means he can use the huge recreational center on campus (pool, exercise equipment, basketball courts, racquetball, free weights, etc.).  I'm sure he will get a ton of use out of it since he has considerable amounts of free-time in which to do so.

That last part would have been written in a sarcasm font, were it available.

So this is where he plans to now spend his time:

The Rec Center at SIU

While I'm not sure where he is going to find the time to actually use the facilities afforded to him by getting this card, I'm not going to argue.  I'm good with him getting one.  Wanna know why?

This is why:

That. Is. The Hubs. 

In a speed suit.  

Rawr!

I know, you are probably wondering what in the world that has to do with his getting a rec card.  Well, you see that physique?  He looks like that after spending about 5 minutes in a weight room.  He has some insane genetic thing (That is the best descriptor I've got.  Sorry for the sub-par vocab here.) that allows him to look like he has worked out for months after only actually working out twice.  And since he has a BMI of, like, nothing, he doesn't have any fat to burn off before the muscles start exploding from everywhere. 

It is sick.  You don't have to tell me.  I'm fully aware.

Anyway, the point of this post is not The Hubs' hot bod.

When he said he wanted the card, we began rounding up the crew to head over to the Rec Center.  Since I'm a student at SIU, as my spouse, The Hubs will get a discounted rate for the card. In order to make that happen, we both have to go when he gets it.  Which means Tink and Goose need to make the trek, too.  

So, we got the boys dressed, changed Goose's diaper & made sure Tink went potty. Despite this being only a 15 minute trip, I just knew if he didn't go before we left, we'd end up running for the potty at the Rec Center.  

Not interested in doing the potty dash.

So, I took potty duty before leaving and, while washing his hands, Tink said something interesting. 

Tink: "Mama, Yah nee yeh-pone."

Me: "You need headphones?"

Tink: "Nooooo, Yah nee YIY-pone."

Me: "You need an iPhone?"

Tink: "Yeah!"

Me: Speechless.  

My child has lost his flippin' mind thinks he needs an iPhone?!  I thought I had years before I would have to deal with either boy asking for a cell phone.  Obviously, I thought wrong.

After I got over my momentary loss of words, I told him no.  

And in typical three-year-old fashion, he asked me why.

So I responded by telling him that an iPhone is a major investment, that he needs to learn some responsibility and should probably begin thinking of how he would like to contribute to our household income if he wants an iPhone and the service plan charges that go along with it.  

I'm sure you are wondering why I would say all of that to my three-year-old.

Mommy Lesson #241: If your child begins a barrage of "why" questions to everything you say, give him/her a lengthy response, full of big (or big-ish) words.  That will give them something that confuses the hell out of them to think about rather than asking you "Why?".... Again.

I thought the subject was closed.  Wrong.

After leaving the Rec (sans card, but that is a whole other story), Tink says, from his carseat, "Yah nee yI-pone, Mama."

Ummm... still a no.

But then The Hubs has an idea.

As a precursor to telling you his idea, let me explain this: 

We both have iPhones.  Mamaw (my mom) has a droid.  AJ (my sister) and PawPaw (my dad) have iPhones.  And when we are out with them, Tink is CONSTANTLY asking to play with one of our phones.  We either find videos of The Fresh Beat Band on youtube for he & Goose to watch or we let him play on of the games we've downloaded for him.  Match-style, Puzzles & Memory games are quite a hit with him.  And Ant Smasher.  Don't judge.

See? Constantly wants the phones.

That said, we always have to be careful to keep a close enough eye that he does not inadvertently call someone, send a text message, update our Facebook statuses, or whatever else he is capable of doing.  He flips through the apps so quickly.  And, yes, he does it purposefully.  He knows how.  

So, back to The Hubs' brilliant plan.

When we got our iPhones, we abandoned our iPods.  Both of us had an iPod Touch.  One died a sad death, but the other is still in great working condition.  And does nothing but collect dust on a shelf.  

iPod.  Meaning no making errant phone calls.  No sending nonsensical text messages to unassuming recipients.  No "liking" random photos on Facebook.  Photos of people I may or may not even know....

An iPod with nothing but Tink-friendly videos and apps for him to play with. An iPod for me to keep in my purse and use in emergent situations. Situations such as Goose screaming in an ear-splitting way, in the middle of a restaurant.... Yep, a Doodlebop video would stop him in an instant.  

Sounds.  Like.  A.  Plan.

So, that is my plan for today.  Get the iPod Tink-ready.  

And, although this does NOT mean he will be spending all of his waking hours playing with an iPod, I hope it means we will be saved from a public meltdown every now and then.  

Even if it means I must subject myself to a Doodlebop video.

*Shudder*