Monday, January 9, 2012

The Hubs: Baby Whisperer

So, Goose seems to have decided he is never going to sleep through the night 
without waking up... at least once.
And, when he wakes up, he is going to scream until you come and pick him up.

When I say "scream", I don't mean he is yelling loudly.  
I mean he is emitting this high-pitched, horrifying noise at a decibel level similar to that of a jet engine.  If the pitch got much higher, I'm not sure I'd be able to hear it...But the dog next door might.

This is sweet Goose, waking up from a nap in his crib:


See how smiley he is?  He is like that most of the time.

This is my adorable, happy man in the shower:


And his loving face, yet again, in one of our family pictures:


I wanted to make a point of showing how cute and easygoing he normally is because....


...in the middle of the night, when Goose has decided he doesn't want to be in his crib by himself anymore, he begins to look more like this:


And, in short order, it becomes this:


 Not. Happy.
(Tell me that isn't the cutest crying baby you've ever seen, though?!)

So, we've ended up being relegated to a routine of 
back and forth, 
picking up, 
rocking, 
putting down, 
screaming, 
crying, 
"I-Am-Awake-And-Don't-Care-That-It-Is-4AM-I-Want-You-To-Play-With-Me"-ing.

And lots of frustration for all us.

Well, not so much for Tink.  
As the nighttime shenanigans are going on, he typically looks like this:



See? It doesn't faze him.

It does faze this girl, however.

Letting Goose "cry it out" doesn't work.  
And I mean it doesn't work for him or for me.
He never stops screaming and I end up with frayed nerves.
Like, my whole body is tense and I want to join in with a crying fit of my own.

We can't just go get him and bring him to our bed for two reasons:

1. I don't want him thinking Mama has a "Mi bed es Su bed" mentality.  My bed is actually my bed, just as his bed is his bed.  And that is where he will sleep.  I need that for my own sanity (and the safety of my ribs since he thrashes around in his sleep).

2.  He (in the same fashion as Tink did when he was little) seems to believe that being put in Mama's bed means it is playtime.  Like, jump around, giggle, perform WWE moves on a sleeping Daddy... Anything besides lay down and go back to sleep. 

Goose is now just over 15 months old.  
15 months old
So, this mean 15 months of no full nights of sleep.  
15 months of nightly frustration, being a walking Zombie, near insanity, trying every trick in the book, attempting to figure out what he needs in order to peacefully sleep through a night in his crib.... And failing.


Until this week.


Apparently, all we needed to do is have The Hubs walk in, tell Aiden in a stern but loving voice that there is no reason to be crying... 
That he needs to lay down and close his eyes.... 
That it is time to go night-night.


And that is it.  


I kid you not.  


I know.  Try to pick your jaw up from the floor.  


15 MONTHS of the midnight-fits game and all he needed was to be told to stop and go back to sleep?!


The first time, I thought it was a fluke.  
I had to go check on him after a few minutes.  
I was afraid he'd either:
 A.) Strangled himself with his blanket and that was why he was no longer crying
 or 
B.) The Hubs may have thrown a right hook and Goose had stopped crying because he wasn't conscious.


Ok, I'm kidding about that part.  Don't call DCFS.  We don't hit our kids.


I was afraid he may have strangled himself, though.  
Crazy mama worries.  Whatever.


When he came back to bed, I asked The Hubs what he had done to get him quiet and in his crib.  I thought there was surely something I'd missed.
His answer? 
"I told him to go to sleep."


Un-friggin'-believable.


I would give him credit for that, but my bitterness just won't let me do it.


UPDATE:


I started this particular blog post about a week ago.  
Let me just say that The Hubs' magic has seemed to be short-lived.


Unfortunately.


But, the boys started back to school today.  Winter break is over and they are no longer staying at home with me all day, with the three of us staring at each other.  I'm really hoping they will come home worn out from running crazy at school.  And, as a result, sleep long and hard.  


Say a prayer.  We need it.  


Both for them sleeping better and The Hubs & I keeping our sanity.

4 comments:

  1. OMG. I laughed and laughed through this ... but I can do that because it's not ME that they're keeping awake. Just remember, "this too shall pass". You'll have an all-too-brief 12-14 years of peacefulness, then they'll become teenagers and you'll start staying awake until the wee hours of the morning to make sure they've come home after an evening out. And it doesn't matter how old they get - you'll still need to know that they got home safely. Even now, don't I always make you call me when you go on a trip to tell me you've arrived safely? Being a parent never ends. Thank God.

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  2. When YOU were a baby and I would babysit, after 2 minutes of listening to you cry would have ME in tears wondering where I had gone wrong. The first time Janet and Chuck stayed out overnight (it was 1983 when SIU went to the National Championship game), I was awake almost all night listening to you breathe and hoping you wouldn't cry. That was only 29 years ago...geez, when did I get so old?

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  3. I am glad I am not the only parent who worries about their child strangling themselves with their blanket. Jordyn won't go down with out her "blankie" and I promptly take it away from her as soon as she is out ;)

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  4. I was LOL'ing throughout this entire post, especially when you said "they are no longer staying at home with me all day, with the three of us staring at each other". I was so ready for Ry to go back to school too. I need routine! I was going to ask how the baby whispering had been going but then I got to the bottom where it said it was short-lived. Sorry, girl! I feel for ya!!

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