Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Bright and Shiny Isn't Necessarily A Good Thing

Well, it is usually a good thing, but not when "bright and shiny" are spot-on descriptors of your 2 and 4 year-old children... holding a jar of Vaseline.

I was in the kitchen making dinner and I realized the boys were awful quiet.

Too quiet.

Anyone with children knows that "quiet" actually means "doing something 
they are definitely NOT suppose to be doing."

I went to go check on them, first looking in the playroom (I don't even know why I checked there. If they'd been in the playroom, a fight would've broken out well before I'd gotten to the point of suspicion.) and then I checked the bathroom. I was kind of expecting to see a full roll of toilet paper strewn around the room.

Nope, not in either room.

So I checked their bedroom.

There they sat, surrounded by all sorts of things, smeared in Vaseline.

Actually, I think saying they were "smeared" in the stuff is almost a 
bit of an understatement. I mean, there was not an inch of their little 
bodies that didn't have the goop on it.

I couldn't even say anything. My mouth fell open and I gasped.

Immediately, and I mean this was instantaneous, Tink started to scream at 
the top of his lungs. Like, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up 
because it was so shrill and terrible. He popped up, ran from the room, 
still screaming, and shouted, "I put me on time out!!!"

Psssht. 
 Works for me.
Time out it is.

Goose, on the other hand, sat where he was and proceeded to have a 
full-on meltdown without ever moving.

I was so in disbelief at what was happening, I had to just stand there 
for a moment to decide what I was going to do.

My decision was to get my camera. 

 Duh.

So, here you are.

These are my lovely children... 

covered in Vaseline... 

having total breakdowns before I'd even gotten to the point 
of telling them how much trouble they were in... 

and serving a self-imposed timeout sentence.








I have to admit that this last one makes me laugh.
I should probably feel bad that my child is sobbing, but I hadn't 
yelled at him or even said a word about him being in trouble.  
He just knew he was doing something he shouldn't and was upset about it.
That makes it funny.



This was certainly a fun little event in the week filled with 
car-licking and penis-table-flopping.

If you were keeping tally, it is now Spring Break 3, Mama 0.