Our Relationship As I've Known It Is Over

Today, my heart was broken.

I knew it couldn't last forever, but I wasn't ready for this to happen so soon.

I was left for another woman...

and she is only four...

and I cried...

in the middle of the Pre-k classroom...

and Tink's teacher rubbed by shoulder, asking if I was ok...

and I continued to cry...

as I watched my son walk away...

holding hands with this "other woman."

I am pretty sure my face looked something like this:

Here is how drop-off usually goes with Tink: 

He races into his classroom.

He checks in by moving his name on the students' sign-in board.

I head over to write him in on the parents' sign-in sheet.

He races over to where I am, smothers me with hugs and kisses, and hangs on to me with a huge grin until I manage to pry him off and walk out the door.  

He is never upset when I leave, but he likes to drag out drop-off with lots of lovin'.

Here is how it went today:

Tink raced into his classroom.

He checked in by moving his name on the students' sign-in board.

I wrote him in on the parents' sign-in sheet.

He raced over to me and, as I started to bend over to give him 

hugs, he heard "Hester" call his name.

He promptly turned around and started to walk away... straight to Hester.

Um... EXCUSE ME!

Hey, sir.  Did you forget something?

Yes, you did.

Your mother. 

You forgot me.

So, naturally, I said, "Tink! Get back over here! I need hugs and kisses."

Know what the reaction was to that?

A snort.  

He snorted at me.

He walked back over, kind of haphazardly threw an arm 

around one of my legs, kissed my elbow, and started to head over to Hester.

And now, on the inside, I was doing this:

It was like he didn't want to be bothered by his mama 

because he needed to tend to Hester.

Well, that was not going to work for me.

So, I did exactly what I think any mother would do.

I made him come back.

"Hey, dude. A kiss on my elbow doesn't work for me.  I need real kisses."

This time, I got a brief brush on the lips, no hug, and no goodbye.

I hear Hester say, "Come on, Tink.  Lets go this way."

He walks over to her, she says, "Hold my hand," and he does.

I stand there, heartbroken and dumbfounded, watching my four year-old walk away, holding the hand of another woman.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

WHEN DID I BECOME SECOND IN LINE TO THE BLOND IN PRE-K?!

Tink's teacher, Nancy, and the student teacher from the preschool room stood there and watched them go, hand in hand.  

They both gave me a kind of sad, pity-filled smile.

They knew I'd just lost the battle.

Nancy reached over, started rubbing my should, and asked if I was ok.

I said, "I just got ditched for some other girl."

And my eyes filled with tears.  

I started muttering things along the lines of "I can't believe that just happened" and "When did he get so big?" and "Doesn't he know I come first?"

I'm pretty sure both teachers think I am a sorry case.

I doubt, however, this is the first time they've seen it.

I turned and walked out of the classroom. 

I would have tried to say goodbye to Tink again before I went, 

but he was out of view and long gone with Hester.

I stood in the lobby and retold my story.

Another mom was on her way out at the same time.

Bless her heart, she took my hand and held it all the way out to our cars.

She said, "You have to remind him that you are number one! You will always be number one!  Tell him to make sure he remembers that!"

 She, too, has a son. 

I'm willing to bet you could've guessed that.

I'm sure she was pumping herself up for the "I'm Number One" argument she will undoubtably face as much as she was pumping me up for it.

I said the only thing I was thinking at that point: 

"I birthed him through my vagina! I AM NUMBER ONE!"

Yes, I said it.

And, yes, I said it in the middle of the street...

on a busy campus...

in front of multiple college students.

I don't care.  It is truth.

Plus, what is the hardest thing they've dealt with today?

I'm sure it is not the trauma of watching your baby become a 

man and losing him to some other female.

I took some time, went to breakfast, and thought about what happened.

After much thought, I did what any sane mother would do...

I returned to Pre-k to assert my presence as his Number One girl.

(I had some things to drop off at the school anyway.  I haven't completely lost my mind.  The sole purpose of my visit was not to defend my rightful place... Ahem.)

I walked into Pre-k and looked for Tink.

I just wanted to say "hey" since I was there anyway, you know?

I was all breezy-like, a la Monica from "Friends."

Can you guess what he was doing?

Yep, he was in the middle of an activity with Hester.

Whatever.

So, I went over and sat with them for a bit.  

I talked to Tink and Hester about what they were doing, watched them squish some dough around (they were doing some sort of cooking activity), and hung out for a few minutes.

I told Tink I was going to go, that I'd just stopped in so I could see him, and he said, "ok." 

I told him I wanted a kiss and he immediately turned his head up and puckered his lips.

That's my boy!

On my way out, I even got an "I yuh you, Mommy!"

That is Tink-speak for "I love you."

So, now I am feeling much more like this:

And kind of like I should yell, "Victory is mine!" while raising my arms up like this:

I will make it through this.

I will force Tink to give me love and snuggles this evening 

since he tried to be stingy with those things this morning.

I will try to come to terms with the idea that he can't be my baby forever.

That part may just take some time.

Oh, and I will try not to cry in his Pre-k classroom anymore.

I'm not making any promises, though...

In case any of you are wondering, Hester really is a sweet girl.  I've had the opportunity to hang out with her since I've worked in Tink's classroom.

She is as cute as can be and is really smart. 

At least I know he has good taste in women. 

Guess that'll be my silver lining.

That said, giving her the pseudonym "Hester" was no accident. ;)

All pictures are Google stock images