Oh, Hey.

I've been absent.  

I know.  You don't have to tell me about it.

I feel bad enough already.

I've had a number of you ask me what happened, want to know if I just stopped blogging or what the deal is.

The deal is this:

It's not you. It's me.

I just needed some space.  

I am fully aware that I sound like I am giving a totally pathetic excuse for a break-up and I'm sorry for that, but it is the truth.

 

Found this graphic on Google after writing this blog post.  Perfect fit, huh?!

I found that I just needed some time to remove myself from some of the social networking world.  

Blogging was a major part of that.  

It wasn't even that I needed to stop writing on my own blog, but more that I needed a break from ALL blogs.  

I was spending too much time reading about the lives of other folks, perusing both some of my favorite blogs and other random ones I happened across.  

I mean, is it really so important that know all about how Blogger A redecorated her kitchen?  Or what Blogger B wore on a certain day of the week?

No.

Don't get me wrong.  

I LOVE the look of Blogger A's new kitchen and I really wish I could pull off a pair of brightly colored skinnys like Blogger B.  

That, however, is not the point.  

I felt like I was becoming too involved with the online lives of others and not living enough for myself.  Plus, I wanted to be able to enjoy a moment with my boys without wondering whether I should sprint for the camera so I could make a blog post about whatever cute/ridiculous/amazing/hilarious thing they/I/we were up to.  

Hence, my break.

Since I haven't shared anything with you in such a long time, I'll do my best to kinda catch you up.  There is the possibility that some of these things may end up with a blog post of their own in the future, but I make no promises.

Here is what you missed:

I finished my semester in school.

 Yeah, that is my Dean's List letter.  This is where I get to toot my own horn. :)

I took the boys to Florida for a month long vacation.

During that vacation, we visited Sea World twice, Sarasota Jungle Gardens four times, and  Mote Marine more times than I can count.  

My boys fell in love with everything ocean related.  

My life is now all about 'Tamu ("Shamu" in Tink-speak).

I completed a summer course (I SO would have bored you all with posts about this class, so you should be glad I was breaking.  I could have droned on and on, to the point that you would have wanted to claw your eyes out.). 

I came really close to an emotional breakdown due to some circumstances beyond my control changing life as I have been living it.  

Although I am open to sharing just about every aspect of my life, this particular thing is very personal and includes persons other than myself, so I won't be sharing details.  

Sorry to bait you and leave you with zero information.  

That wasn't very nice, was it?

I took up yoga.  

I love it.  

And I am pretty sure The Hubs loves it since I will occasionally try out 

some of the poses in our living room.  

Unfortunately, although practicing yoga makes me feel like this:

This is my amazingly beautiful friend, Molly.  Gorgeous, right?!

I have a feeling I look more like this:

Just less furry.

I became the mother of a four year-old (How is Tink that old?!?!).

Notice the cake. I am telling you, we are ALL about dolphins, fish, manatees, etc.  
But no crabs.  We don't do crabs.  Or sharks.

I decided to challenge myself by making meals using only the food we currently have in our home.  I am totally guilty of opening a fridge/freezer/pantry full of food 

and declaring a lack of anything to eat.  

It is like opening your overstuffed closet and saying you have nothing to wear.  

You do indeed have plenty to wear... You just don't want to wear it.  

I'll let you know how this works out for me.

I started the Harry Potter series.  

And I now wish I was capable of doing magic.  

And I might have a crush on Dumbledore.  

I FINALLY have my pictures back up on the walls after the half-wall construction project.  

It took me entirely too long to make it happen, but I didn't want to just erroneously 

begin putting pictures up and holes in the walls.  

I wanted to know what all I had to work with before starting.  

It wasn't until about a week ago that I made it happen.  

Guess throwing a birthday party for your kid and inviting a relatively large number 

of people over for said party is a good motivating factor.

I moved Tink and Goose into the same bedroom.  

They did really well sleeping in the same room for the month we were in Florida.  

Plus, Tink was at the point that he was waking up, going to 

Goose's room, and crawling into his crib with him almost every morning.  

It was at that point (the point of Tink moving into Goose's territory) 

that things would become violent.  

So, I hoped he wouldn't actually get in the crib if his bed was in the same room.  

Thus far, it has been a complete success.  

Amen.

Speaking of "Amen", I had an exceptionally amazing 

experience at church about a month ago.

I started to get back on and blog about it that afternoon, but something stopped me.

Maybe was because I didn't feel as if I could satisfactorily convey my feelings about my experience. Maybe I was having a hard time with making an entire post about my faith.  

I can't honestly tell you what kept me from posting it.  

But, I have the beginnings of my post saved.  

And, whenever I think about it, my whole being 

goes back to the place it was on that Sunday.  

That alone is enough to convince me that I need to share it, so I will work on it.  

I'm sure there have been many more goings on in the last two-plus 

months, but this is about all I have for now.  

Thanks to all of you who asked about the blog and showed 

both concern & interest about its absence.

I'll work to be better about posting more often again.

I really do appreciate the understanding about my needing a break. 

If I take a break again, I'll try to let you know in advance so you won't worry.

Love you all.

Thanks for being a part of my life, whether it is in all ways or simply through this blog.

And, feel free to share how great you look in your neon skinnys.

I promise I won't quit writing just because I am jealous.

No Means No

Yesterday there was a walk against sexual violence and gender violence on campus.

I really wanted to take part in the walk and decided to bring the boys.

I know they are too young to understand sexual assault, rape, gender violence or 

anything of the like.

In fact, I love that they are lucky enough to live lives in which they don't even have to know such evils exist.  I recognize that not all children are as lucky.

Regardless of their lack of understanding behind the true meaning of the walk, they are old enough to know that we treat people kindly.  

They get the idea of not treating people in a way that hurts them.

(Well, for the most part.  Goose is still working on his aggression issues, but that is completely besides the point...)

Anyway, I really wanted the boys to be a part of the walk.  

I am doing my best to try to raise them to become men who will treat women, and other men, with kindness, care, fairness, and equality. 

I want them to grow up to respect others and do the best they can to make a positive impact on the people they meet.

As a woman whose life has been affected by sexual violence, it is important to me that I do something to take a stand against it.  

And as a mother of two future men, I believe that the best place for me to start is with them.  

That is why I think it is important to do things like The Gathering (the name given to this annual event). 

We assembled at SIU's Student Center and waited for the march to begin.  

Tink really wanted to hold one of the signs, so he held one reading, "No Means No."

Of course, Goose wanted one, too, so he held a sign which said, "Stand Against Gender Violence."

Before the march began, one of the women from The Women's Center, a domestic violence center,  spoke about global, national, and Carbondale-specific statistics in regards to sexual violence and gender issues.  Some of the statistics she gave were staggering.  If you want to educate yourself on some of these topics, check out this website.  

After speaking, she led the march in the direction of The Women's Center.


As we marched, Tink held his sign and, on his own accord, started chanting "No Means No!" along with the college students walking ahead of him.  It was awesome.

Once we made it to The Women's Center, Shelley Hill, their rape crisis services lead therapist, spoke about the center and what they do.

I've had the pleasure of meeting and speaking with Shelley before and she is AMAZING.  She is as genuine and kind as a person can be.  The Women's Center is lucky to 
call her one of their own.  

Shelley had the participants use chalk to write, on the sidewalk, something they would pledge to do as a way to stand against sexual violence. 

She said she wanted us to fill the walkway so that the women coming into the center would see the support they have from people within the community.

It was pretty powerful.

After writing, we marched on and headed to the SIU Student Health Services.

There was a presentation given by PMM, an organization from the university.

PMM stands for Progressive Masculinities Mentors.  In their own words, they are "a group of concerned men who seek to work with other men in an attempt to transform traditional notions of 'what it means to be a man' through support, education, and activism."

You can check out their website to learn more about them.  They are doing some really fantastic things.

I really just wanted to share with all of you how great it felt to participate in this march.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm not doing enough to change the world.

And then I see a picture like the one below and I realize, even if I feel like I can do more, I can feel good about knowing I am doing the most important thing: 

I am raising two strong, compassionate, loving, gentle, beautiful boys to become men who will respect, value, honor, foster, and cherish women.

And that makes me proud.

"Imagine all the people living life in peace.  You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one." - John Lennon

Happy Birthday to The Hubs

It is The Hubs' birthday!  

The old man is a whoppin' 31 years old. 

I can call him old because he is a whole 3 weeks older than I am...

He is a pretty amazing guy and I feel lucky to be able to say I am his wife. 

He is my best friend, my confidant, my rock.

He has given me the best gifts possible in Tink and Goose.  

I love him more than I can describe.

I am not sure I have the right words to really celebrate The Hubs and all of the things he means to me, so, instead, I decided I wanted to post some of my favorite pictures of him and let them help me try to explain.  

I've picked certain pictures for a number of reasons.  

Some because they make me laugh.  

Some because they remind me of something special between us.  

Some because I think they show a part of his personality that I love.  

Anyway the point of this post is to celebrate him and all of the wonderful things he brings to the lives of the people around him.

Here are some of the reasons I think he is so fantastic and 

deserves to be celebrated on his birthday.

1.  He is a great husband.

2.  He was so excited in anticipation of Tink, and then later, Goose.

3.  He lets the boys watch 'the game' with him.

(Dude, just put the kid to bed already.  Can't you see that he is sleeping?)

4.  He plays the Baby Trumpet.

Really well.

5.  He lets me take pictures whenever and wherever.  

And sometimes he will even smile.

6.  He wears any outfit I buy that matches something I have for the boys.

And he never complains about it.  :)

Ok, he usually doesn't complain...

7.  He pokes our kids out from behind corners and makes them appear 

to float up and down the wall.  This is seriously funny stuff.

8.  He makes them laugh.  

I love that. 

9.  He is my "black Ken doll."  

Some day I will tell you how he got that name.

10.  He is a fantastic soccer player and is already planning on the boys 

playing in the 2026 World Cup.  Tink and Goose have both started training.

11. Ok, maybe he doesn't always make them laugh...

I, however, am laughing.

12.  He is willing to do things like sit in on the picture with the Easter Bunny.

Probably because he knows I'd lose my mind if we stood 

in line forever and didn't get a picture because my kids weren't "feeling it."

Regardless of the reason, he does it.

13.  He puts up with me.

Often times with this exact look on his face.

14.  He puts family first.

15.  This smile.

16.  He spends hours doing things like putting a climber together 

for the going-to-be 2 year-old.

And he does it when he has other things he would rather 

be doing because Mama wants it done before the 

almost 2-year-old's birthday party the next day.

(Beer is a motivator.)

17.  And he lets the almost 2 year-old help.  :)

18.  He is a great friend to many, many people.

19.  He works hard to be sure those friends get to see each other, spend time together, and enjoy each others company.  Things like the alumni game help to make it happen.

And he gets more excited every year.

20.  He loves me unconditionally.

21.  He let his babies lick his face and suck his lip like it was a bottle.

Both of them.  And it was hysterical.  

Well, until they realized they weren't getting milk...

22.  He shows them affection so they will always 

know how much their daddy loves them.

23.  He will "off-road" with a 70 pound stroller (Seriously. 70 pounds 

when you consider kids, bag, and actual stroller.), because Mama 

wants to hurry back to the car to avoid rain.

24.  He will happily involve Tink and Goose in the things which mean the most to him.

25.  He loves to spend time with them, just hanging out.

26.  He offers me support in any and everything I do.

27.  He understands why this is important.

28.  He is the kind of guy who is willing to smile, repeatedly, as his slightly intoxicated lovely wife takes picture... after picture... after picture... because she REALLY wants one with them and Paris' Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas.

29.  He gets giddy like a little kid when people are willing 

to play The MJ Experience with him.

30.  He sends me pictures like this when in the dressing room being 

fitted for a tux for yet ANOTHER one of the weddings he is in.  

Did I mention he is a great friend to a lot of people?

Have I also mentioned that he is smokin'?!

31.  He is the boys' hero.

 32.  He is my hero, too.

I love you, Babe.

Happy Birthday.