My Husband Needs Sensitivity Training

So, I just found this post I'd started writing almost exactly a year ago.

I remember beginning to write it on my phone in the car because I didn't want 

to forget the conversation (or lack thereof) The Hubs had with Tink.

Since we are coming up on this year's trip to the pumpkin patch, I thought I'd post this. If for no other reason, it may serve as a reminder to Daddy how NOT to respond to a question about a cemetery.  

Here it is. Enjoy:

Today we went to the pumpkin patch with the boys' school.

On our way there, we passed a really large cemetery.

I would guess at least 90% of the graves had flowers.

Tink pointed out the window and said, "Hey! Who dettin' mah-weed out dey-uh?"

(Translation: Who is getting married out there?)

Daddy's response?

"No one. They are all dead."

*Silence*

WTF, DADDY?!

You totally just told a four-year-old that he is looking 

at a field of dead people. And they 

appear to be invisible dead people at that!

Insert a more appropriate response from Mommy:

"Baby, when people die they go to heaven. But, the people they leave behind on Earth miss them very much.  So, there are places called cemeteries where people can go and leave flowers or presents.  There are spaces for everyone who has died to have those things left for them.  That way the people here on Earth can feel like they still have a connection with them.  They can even talk to the people in heaven, they just can't hear them talking back."

"I wite pow-wus an' peh-sans." 

"I like flowers and presents, too, baby."

Feel free to also insert a death glare for Daddy.

We are probably going to have to have a talk about how we plan to approach the 

subject of death with the boys before we manage to traumatize them.  

And before Tink thinks that every time he sees a bunch of 

flowers there are invisible dead people everywhere...  

[Editor's Note: Since writing this a year ago, Tink has experienced dealing with death many times.  This has happened through both my sister's dog dying, as well multiple animals at his school (Mostly fish.  Those little stinkers don't last very long.). I have to say that he has handled each death very well.  I was a bit nervous about how to approach the first death with him (Joe was the first one to go belly-up. He was the big black fish in the tank in his school's lobby), but there ended up being no conversation to be had.  I broached the subject by saying, "Oh, Mr. Bubbles is the only fish in the tank."  Tink's response: "Yeah, Joe dead.  I hungry.  It breakfast now?"  Obviously, he was neither distraught over the loss of Joe nor was he confused by or wondering about the concept of death.  I guess the combo of Daddy's "Everyone is dead" and my "Heaven is a place and everything will be ok-ish" talk was sufficient.  I hope the birds & bees talk is this manageable...]